Post by Jasper Hale on Dec 24, 2011 23:09:20 GMT -5
| [atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,5,true][atrb=style,width: 450px; background-image: url(http://bamfbackgrounds.com/images/lace-myspace-background.jpg); padding: 20px; border-radius: 60px,bTable][cs=2] is it too late to make amends? empathize can i look through your eyes | |
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,5,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style,border: 1px solid 525252;] | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][rs=7][atrb=width,350px,true][atrb=height,400px,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;background-color: #c4c4c4; overflow:auto; padding: 10px; border-radius: 25px;] It was late in the evening, long past the time when the sun had given up on shining on the Olympic Peninsula and sank behind the mountains. The sky had faded to an inky color, devoid of all light except for that which emanated from the secluded Cullen dwelling. Jasper slipped away from his family for some quiet time alone, giving Alice a brief kiss on the forehead before he left. If she needed him, she would know where to find him and it wasn't as if he was going far. No, he was headed up to his study tonight, his mind already reaching for the teachings of Aristotle. The day had been rough on him, with the wind blowing the humans' scents towards him as if meant for his nose alone, and as always, it had made him question his choice of lifestyle. He did it for Alice and even though he could feel everything his victims felt when he had killed them, the lure of their blood was almost irresistible and the animal blood never quite satisfied him. Jasper had studied philosophy before, and he knew in particular he wanted to reread Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics tonight. It helped him feel in control again, making him examine his choices and the few virtues he did see in himself. His fingers found the third book automatically and he slid it from the shelf, placing it on his desk and gently moving his keyboard aside so he had room to read. He sat down in the leather office chair he'd acquired for his study and flipped through the pages, his eyes quickly scanning the pages. His copies were transcribed into English, though he could read the original Ancient Greek with relative ease. But it was already enough to just possess the books and to have them in Greek was a little too incredible even if he doubted anyone would ever make it this far if they were snooping around. "Those who say it is appetite or anger or wish or a kind of opinion do not seem to be right. For choice is not common to irrational creatures as well, but appetite and anger are. Again, the incontinent man acts with appetite, but not with choice; while the continent man on the contrary acts with choice, but not with appetite. Again, appetite is contrary to choice, but not appetite to appetite. Again, appetite relates to the pleasant and the painful, choice neither to the painful nor to the pleasant." The passage caught his eye and his lips twisted wryly into a smirk. The wording of it made it seem that Aristotle was speaking directly of vampires--which for all he knew, he could have been--and it was enough to spark his thoughts. It was between acting with appetite or choice. When he was control, as he nearly always was, he was a continent man, choosing not to feed on the humans. But then...his choice was often painful for him, not only in the physical burning sensation in his throat, but from the psychological strain of holding himself back when he wasn't even sure if he wanted to. The book of course went on and his eyes then found this: "And if we come on an impossibility, we give up the search, e.g. if we need money and this cannot be got; but if a thing appears possible we try to do it." His brow furrowed as he stared at the lines of text. He knew that to lessen his strain he had to think of one choice or the other as an impossibility. But which one was it? Was it impossible for him to abstain from human blood? No, surely not, for he had not attacked a human in many years. He had resisted for so long, so that could not be it. Then it must be impossible for him to fail at this lifestyle. But how could that be when his throat constantly ached for human blood and he knew that without the fear of disappointing Alice he would surely succumb to the cravings. Perhaps neither was impossible and he would juggle both options for the rest of his years. What a miserable existence. He continued to read, his eyes scanning the pages quickly and his mind greedily absorbing the knowledge, though it was more of a refresher than a new lesson. He came upon the section of temperance, regarding pleasure. Here he played closer attention. Surely feeding on human blood compared to animal blood would be considered a bodily pleasure. "For dogs do not delight in the scent of hares, but in the eating of them, but the scent told them the hares were there..." Aristotle here was not condemning him for hunting his natural prey, but Jasper could not help but rage mentally against this. Ah, but here: "The self-indulgent man, then, craves for all pleasant things or those that are most pleasant, and is led by his appetite to choose these at the cost of everything else; hence he is pained both when he fails to get them and when he is merely craving for them (for appetite involves pain); but it seems absurd to be pained for the sake of pleasure." Self-indulgent. Yes, that was what he was. He could put a name to the monster that struggled against his control. ...led by his appetite to choose these at the cost of everything else... Yes, to choose to kill a human was throwing away the shreds of compassion and civilization he'd acquired in his years with the Cullens. And he would lose Alice. Surely she would not stay with him if he killed a human. She couldn't forgive him for that. He wouldn't if he was her. He truly did not deserve her. But to have any chance of deserving such a magnificent gift he would have to continue to abstain. His anxiety began to seep away, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the satisfaction of finding an answer. He could always trust philosophy to help him.</div> |
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| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,5,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: c0c0c0; border-radius: 10px;] NOTES: I was bored and needed to do a post. I think I satisfied my interest in philosophy for awhile. |
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